Sunday, April 20, 2008

"Look not mournfully into the past. It comes not back again. Wisely improve the present. It is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy future, without fear.” -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow-

I included this quote not only because I love Longfellow (one of my favorite poems is A Psalm of Life: Tell me not, in mournful numbers, Life is but an empty dream!) but because I find it something that I am working very hard at right now in my life.

It is very easy to get up and say, today I am done with the world. I will stay at home with my boys and live in my own little cocoon. I find myself constantly trying to remember that I cannot give up on believing that in the end all will manage itself and these crazy past few years will somehow align themselves and everything will make sense. I also cannot give up in believing that people are good and have good intentions, even when they aren't quite as sensitive in what they say. Just the other day I had a woman ask me if I had problems with Jonah maybe being "mentally retarded." Can you believe that?

Anyways, the boys have had a better few days, granted there have been a few moments of extreme "crankiness." Shane has had nights this weekend and he has somehow managed to hold both boys at once in several occasions. Both can really get each other going, if one starts crying the other likes to join in and so forth.

More then anything I think of how thrilled we are to have them home. Friday was a bit overwhelming as I had a few moments where I caught my breath and wiped a tear as I looked at Jonah and thought of the scary choking incident from Thursday. I just kept telling the good Lord I wasn't ready to lose either one of them.

So come what may, we are happy to have them home and with us.

Love, Shane and Michelle

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