Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Just a quick posting. We have been running around crazy getting things prepared to move in to our new home this Saturday. The tile on the first floor is done, it looks beautiful. We chose a Spanish style tile for the first floor and we will be carpeting the second floor Thursday. The painting will be done just in the nick of time and Friday we are having someone come clean and spray for bugs/pest control.

We have been taking things over all week. Our new table will be delivered Friday but we are waiting on a few other pieces of furniture but at least we'll have the table for Thanksgiving!

Thanks to all those helping.

The boys are growing and growing. Jonah has adorable rolls everywhere and weighed in at over 18 pounds last week. Noah is a bit over 17 pounds and still long and lean. Jonah has been teething (his top two and bottom two are in and now both of his incisor teeth are coming in up top) and he has been a bit cranky the past two nights plus he has been vomiting a bit more then usual. Noah's vocabulary now includes, Ma ma ma, Da da da, Na na na and Bbbbb. He is such a a chatter box and so much fun.

When the dust settles this weekend we'll post photos and updates on the boys. Noah goes to Fresno Thursday to meet with the GI Clinic about what their plans are for his upcoming studies and the delayed emptying issue.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Noah's upper GI test did not show anything. While that is good it is also frustrating as we still have no answers as to why he is vomiting so much. We have an appointment Wednesday with the GI Clinic and a swallow study scheduled for Jonah before the clinic. It will be interesting to see what they have to say this week and if they plan to try medication for Noah's delayed emptying issue.

We have been blessed to have my cousins Bonnie and Carrie out to help with the boys. Carrie gave us a break Thursday to go shopping and Friday watched Jonah as Bonnie and I took Noah down to Fresno for his test.

Noah has started saying "Da da da da"!!! How exciting. He is a chatter box and just this morning started finally saying "Da da da da." Shane was so excited.

Jonah is also making progress and giggles and chatters at us more and more each day.

Also, it is probably time that we announce.....we are MOVING! The home is in a wonderful neighborhood and is near all the good schools of Bakersfield. It is coming with a lot of work but we got such a good deal on it that we figured we can spend a little more fixing it up and in the end we are very lucky and blessed. I do have to say the projects keep extending and the painting that was supposed to take a week has turned in to over two weeks as we decided to completely take out a wall downstairs and open the front room and kitchen. We are doing half of the labor on our own to save expenses but boy can it be frustrating. I keep hoping we make it in before Thanksgiving!

So that is what's new in the Hanna home.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Cute photos of the boys. Noah is growing up right before our eyes. When it comes to feeding he has to do everything himself, that includes taking the spoon and attempting to get the food in his mouth. It isn't as productive if I were doing it but he will eat so much more if I scoop up the food and give him the spoon to feed himself. If he is at all stubborn with his bottle he insists on holding his cup and drinking from it. All good things but boy is our little man independent and unwilling to do things any way but his. I hope this isn't indicative of what the teenage years may hold! We may have our hands full!

Cute photos of Jonah after bath time (the red marks on his forehead are from his helmet not fitting right, we have been through three adjustments in the past two weeks with this silly helmet...finally it is fitting him right and not leaving welts after he wears it for a long period of time).

The last two photos are so sweet of the boys playing together, I liked the one of Noah getting a hold of Jonah's hair! He has taken to grabbing people's hair lately. I hope the boys have a special relationship as they get older. Even now if Jonah is laughing I will look over at Noah and he is laughing too just by watching his brother smile.

Noah has an upper GI test this Friday. The GI Clinic called last week to confirm he has the delayed emptying issue and they want to do a series of tests to see if there are any strictures or other related issues. The vomiting continues, some days better then others. Today was not one of our better days. I have to say I never thought I would be worn so thin as a mother. I can put Noah down for two seconds and that is all it takes for him to get upset and throw up puddles of puke. Today alone we had three such episodes. By the end of the day I had it with being thrown up on. I sure hope this Friday we can find some answers.

I am in an honest mood tonight. The past few months have been some of the most difficult that I have ever experienced. It seems that certain emotions have been magnified, such as anger, fear, discouragement, guilt, shame, and sometimes also hope. Some days I think to myself that I can't possibly make it through yet another day. Some days I think about the ironic nature to the saying, "God doesn't give you more then you can handle," when I feel that I am hanging on by my nails from a cliff praying that I don't slip and fall. Some days I have moments of clarity and I remember that although challenging these boys have missions and will fulfill their various tasks that God has set forth for them.

I am so grateful to all those during these past few months who have stepped forward and been there for me during some very dark, dark hours. You know who you are and I will never be able to repay you. The one thing that I hope for is that once clarity really comes...when true acceptance becomes an almost daily attribute of my life that I will be able to find others who are in similar positions needing the same understanding hand to hold on to. That is my hope.

Tonight, as I have said before, I was feeling so frustrated with the state of things. I know that many of my thoughts are selfish as I think, why me? But many of my thoughts also include the difficult emotion of, why my boys? Why do they have to suffer so? I was reminded of the account of Alma the younger speaking to his son Helaman about his many years as a missionary and the blessings that came despite his tribulations:

Alma 26: 25-27

“Yea, and now behold, O my son, the Lord doth give me exceedingly great joy in the fruit of my labors;

For because of the word which he has imparted unto me, behold, many have been born of God, and have tasted as I have tasted, and have seen eye to eye as I have seen; therefore they do know of these things of which I have spoken, as I do know; and the knowledge which I have is of God.

And I have been supported under trials and troubles of every kind, yea, and in all manner of afflictions; yea, God has delivered me from prison, and from bonds, and from death; yea, and I do put my trust in him, and he will still deliver me.”

That is great courage and great appreciation for the healing power and saving grace of our Heavenly Father. I was grateful for the reminder tonight that as many prophets of old, both from the Bible and Book of Mormon, God does deliver those who remain faithful. He grants courage, he grants peace, he gives protection and a place to lay down your burdens. I will admit I have had several days where my burdens have felt so great, so heavy, that I have felt overwhelmed in knowing how to manage everything but I have been given the support in these moments, either by phone calls, someone stopping by, family members giving a kind word of encouragement or taking the boys so I can get rest or a break, all of these things have carried me onward.

Thank you each of you who have supported me. I hope to live and learn from this experience and to master my emotions so that I can in turn service others experiencing similar trials and tribulations. What a blessing in my life this would be.