I had to share this on my blog. I know probably some think I am making it a personal mission to inform others about the importance of tolerance when it comes to children who have disabilities and the answer is, yes! I am! If I can help one person understand how one unkind comment can break the heart of a grieving parent or a struggling child then I have made the world a better place for all those who have children with disabilities and I have helped create a brighter future for my sons.
The following happened recently to one of the micro-preemie moms from my Yahoo! group (again, edited for brevity and to emphasize what I felt was important) whose son just received his first wheel chair. He has Cerebral Palsy. I want you to read through this and think of a way that you can better help those in your family or around you accept children who may "look" different due to a disability. Do not judge the situation or what was said by either parent but look at the overwhelming feeling of sorrow that this poor mother felt and how with the right kind of education the whole situation could have been avoided in the first place.
It wouldn't be right of me to not say that I am fortunate enough to have an amazing network of friends and family and almost every one of you would never dream of saying something like this or you would address the situation if your child were making this comment. I still however, wish to share this with you because this is what parents that have children with disabilities face every day. Every day. Imagine the pain that they must shoulder and yet still smile and be a "warrior" in the face of great grief so they can help their child learn that difference does not mean ugliness, that different is beautiful and your spirit and soul are what matters most in the sight of God and family. It indeed is a great task and I know my time is coming soon in which I will bear this myself and I hope and pray that I will bear the task well:
...as you all know we just got [my son's] trial wheelchair YESTERDAY. Well I always take him for a walk at night. I usually go the same route so people in certain houses know us and say hi. Well I walk past this one house and their son is in the yard with their dog. The mom is out there on the porch. As I walked by I heard the kid say "mom, that kid is retarded". I was just saying how one day I am going to snap. I felt my face go red and I just wanted to scream at him! I stopped and turned to him and said "what did you say?" He said, "I just said he was a retard". I said "he is not a retard. Why do you say that?" he said "cause he is in that chair." I said "that doesn't make him a retard." It was THEN that the mom said to me "just keep walking". She didn't say ANYTHING before this! I said, "I will keep walking but you should teach your child some manners". She then said, "he has nothing to learn, you just can't handle the truth". I had to start walking. I started to walk....about ten feet later the tears came. I was sobbing by the time I got home. I cannot believe this. I have seen this lady and her children MANY nights and it wasn't until tonight that he said that. I was having a hard enough time with the whole wheelchair thing. My son is NOT a retard. I am just so emotional about this whole milestone of getting a wheelchair. Why can't people see these kids how we do!?
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