Happy New Year! We celebrated last night with good friends over a meal of fondue. Pictured below are Shane, myself, Tracy and Ryan Bond (yes, as in James Bond!) and Brooke and Blaine Hanson.

We put the boys down around 7:30 upstairs and they were very good. They slept soundly and didn't even wake up when our neighbors lit up fireworks at midnight.

We hope 2009 is a healthy year for everyone!

Christmas 2008

Fun photos of our day together. I also included a few photos of Christmas Eve and Shane's birthday celebration from the 22nd.

It is hard to believe that this time last year the boys had just been transferred to Childrens Los Angeles for ROP eye laser surgery. We spent their first Christmas in the NICU. How wonderful to be home in our own place this year with a bright Christmas tree and loving family. We are blessed that the boys have gained weight so well since coming home and they have avoided any new hospitalizations or illnesses.

We are grateful for the support and love of family this year. We would not have made it through several tough times without the support of our loved ones. We thank you all for all you continue to do.

We hope you enjoyed this beautiful day of Christmas and felt the Savior's love for us all.

God bless,

Shane and Michelle

We hope you will enjoy the holiday card we have posted. Merry Christmas!

Love, the Hannas

I hope you enjoy the below photo of Jonah being snuggled by Grandma and the video of Noah playing patty cake. The video is a bit dark but hopefully you can see what a cutie he is!

Jonah now weighs over 19 pounds (19.5 to be exact) and is a chunky little guy. He is 28 inches long. Noah is still attempting to catch up, he is shy of 18 pounds and a bit over 26 inches. We just picked up "Yo Baby" to add to his diet and it is a high calorie yogurt (110 cal per 4 oz.) We hope he will catch up to his brother soon.

Jonah's MRI turned out to be a very, very long day. We showed up early as they asked but they ended up being an hour behind so we sat around until 1:30 waiting for the anesthesiologist. Thank goodness Jonah did well for the MRI.

After we headed down to meet with his neurosurgeon. This clinic was also behind and we waited another hour to get in to see his specialist. We reviewed the MRI. PVL was present (Periventricular Leukomalacia, which is damage and softening of the white matter of the inner part of the brain that transmits information between the nerve cells and spinal cord) which does put Jonah at a higher risk for a Cerebral Palsy diagnosis but this is nothing new to us. Yes, in some ways it means a closer step to a CP diagnosis as PVL puts infants at a very high risk for CP but we have known the high likelihood of this since Jonah's birth.

On a positive note, the neurologist noticed Jonah's developmental progress since his last visit so that was exciting to hear. Grandma Langston also commented that Jonah has made good progress since October developmentally.

We talked with Dr. Magram about the diagnosis of CP and his response was that generally he waits until the age of two and expected that it probably would be on his left side since he seems to struggle specifically with his left hand. He encouraged us to continue therapy but we had an interesting conversation about Jonah's orthotic helmet. I guess his experience has been that babies with hydrocephalus generally don't show a lot of improvement with orthotic helmets due to the fact that their heads generally grow a lot slower and by the time there is growth the bones have generally become to rigid or fused together so it is nearly impossible to reshape. I did tell his specialist that we were able to get rid of most of the Plagiocephaly in the back of Jonah's head (a malformation of the head or oblique slant to the main axis of the skull) and it has reshaped and now we are focusing on rounding it out on top and the sides so some improvement has already happened and we intend to keep trying. He didn't discourage us from continuing but just wanted us to know that Jonah's head will never completely reshape which we know. So that was definitely an interesting conversation. I already see an improvement in the shape of Jonah's head, we plan to keep at this for a few more months to see if we can't see any more improvement.

Another fun happening, Jonah has started chattering even more and his new thing to do is say "Ba!" with great emphasis. We are happy at his verbal attempts as one can only imagine how difficult it must be to interpret the world around you without being able to see anyone's face clearly, so learning to speak is even more challenging with Jonah but he is trying!

So that is our current update. Grandma Langston and I got caught in a snow storm and where stuck in Valencia overnight Wednesday. We were not able to go over the Grape Vine until Thursday afternoon. So needless to say between our trip to Fresno, finishing our kitchen counter tops and our trip home from LAX this has been an interesting week!! Our kitchen counter tops are finally finished, we had the floor tile crew come today and do some touch up work. Now we have curtains left to hang and another overall cleaning needs to happen to the house, hopefully before Christmas.

Grandma and Grandpa Langston have been so helpful. I am so grateful they are here. Both boys just love to interact with both and get lots of love and kisses.

We hope to get an e-card made up for Christmas and out, I just need to find time to get pics of Jonah and put it together.

We love each of you. Thank you for your continuing support and prayers. Always remember Noah and Jonah as you pray because they need as many blessings from above as can be granted to continue to affect their ongoing development.

Love, Shane and Michelle

Lately I feel like I am rushed in my postings but at least I am finding time to post!

The swallow studies on Thursday went well. Both boys are not having any issue with swallowing. Jonah does reflux a bit in to his nose but nothing serious. They actually asked if Jonah brings any formula up through his nose when taking his bottle and I said no but when he vomits he brings things up through his nose. Speaking of which, Jonah did NOT take well to the Barium. He had two huge throw ups while at our High Risk clinic. Of course both came up through his nose and he freaked out and started holding his breath and choking. I've unfortunately been through this enough to know what to do so I laid him quickly down on his side, suctioned his nose and spoke to him calmly to get him to settle down until the episode had passed. The nurses in the room where a bit taken back by the intensity of Jonah's throw up but in the end we had it handled and they later mentioned they were impressed with how well I handled the situation. I know it was meant well but in actuality I would rather not have to deal with this at all. It terrifies me every time that Jonah won't come out of it and I'll end up doing CPR like I almost had to do this past April when Jonah stopped breathing for several minutes after a nasty vomit. Thank goodness we have not been through that again since then.

The High Risk clinic was exactly what I expected. Noah is pretty much on track with his adjusted mile stones. He is crawling backward a few steps at a time and pulling himself forward, he is so close to crawling and starting to pulling himself up on things. We are almost there! To no surprise Jonah has delays, no surprise there but we continue onward with daily therapy to combat all his challenges.

Tuesday we have Jonah's MRI. I am a bit anxious about this and thank goodness Shane is taking the day off to come be with us as I don't know if the neurosurgeon will start speaking of Cerebral Palsy to us after the MRI. Poor Jonah, he will have to be sedated and then we head straight down to the Neurosurgery clinic to meet with his specialist. I also plan to speak to his eye specialist later this week to see what she sees in the MRI. I would like to know what is going on in the Occipital Lobe of the brain to know if Jonah's lack of vision is more serious then we know. Answers would be welcome, as difficult as they would be.

We are moving along with projects in our new home. We are finishing off replacing the tile counter tops in the kitchen and started putting up curtains tonight. We managed to get up Christmas lights outside and thank goodness I got our tree up early as we have been so busy with everything I'm not sure how I would have done it the past couple of weeks.

Thank you all for your love, support and prayers. We wish you a Merry Christmas in this holiday season.

Santa's helpers could not be cuter! I love these Christmas pajamas we bought for the boys.

Tomorrow we go to Fresno for a swallow study for Noah. Thursday we have the same study for Jonah and then both boys go to the High Risk Clinic. Next week we have Jonah's MRI and visit with his neurosurgeon. I am a bit anxious as I don't know what to expect from the MRI but I will make sure and post the results.

Wish us luck, I tried so hard to get both boys on the same day but was unsuccessful. So we have three trips to Fresno this month. Thank goodness Grandpa Langston is in town and helping. Noah is starting to be so demanding as he is getting more and more active. Things are just getting started when it comes to craziness in the Hanna house!

Just a quick posting. It was such a busy week last week that I am exhausted today! I included photos from our last place of the boys playing together, including a good one of Jonah in his Bumbo seat and Noah in his crawling stance (we are almost there). Jonah is steadily improving on his head control and his therapists feel he will continue to make progress. He is a happy little boy, aside from teething. =)

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday and a gift exchange and putting up of the tree party with Shane's parents as they will be in Pennsylvania this year and my folks are coming down from Utah. Noah got a fun pony from Grandma and Grandpa Hanna and Jonah got a few light up toys to play with including a new activity center.

We are officially in our new home, there is still a lot to do but we are grateful to be finally moved in.

We hope your holiday was wonderful and wish you all a Merry Christmas!

Just a quick posting. We have been running around crazy getting things prepared to move in to our new home this Saturday. The tile on the first floor is done, it looks beautiful. We chose a Spanish style tile for the first floor and we will be carpeting the second floor Thursday. The painting will be done just in the nick of time and Friday we are having someone come clean and spray for bugs/pest control.

We have been taking things over all week. Our new table will be delivered Friday but we are waiting on a few other pieces of furniture but at least we'll have the table for Thanksgiving!

Thanks to all those helping.

The boys are growing and growing. Jonah has adorable rolls everywhere and weighed in at over 18 pounds last week. Noah is a bit over 17 pounds and still long and lean. Jonah has been teething (his top two and bottom two are in and now both of his incisor teeth are coming in up top) and he has been a bit cranky the past two nights plus he has been vomiting a bit more then usual. Noah's vocabulary now includes, Ma ma ma, Da da da, Na na na and Bbbbb. He is such a a chatter box and so much fun.

When the dust settles this weekend we'll post photos and updates on the boys. Noah goes to Fresno Thursday to meet with the GI Clinic about what their plans are for his upcoming studies and the delayed emptying issue.

Noah's upper GI test did not show anything. While that is good it is also frustrating as we still have no answers as to why he is vomiting so much. We have an appointment Wednesday with the GI Clinic and a swallow study scheduled for Jonah before the clinic. It will be interesting to see what they have to say this week and if they plan to try medication for Noah's delayed emptying issue.

We have been blessed to have my cousins Bonnie and Carrie out to help with the boys. Carrie gave us a break Thursday to go shopping and Friday watched Jonah as Bonnie and I took Noah down to Fresno for his test.

Noah has started saying "Da da da da"!!! How exciting. He is a chatter box and just this morning started finally saying "Da da da da." Shane was so excited.

Jonah is also making progress and giggles and chatters at us more and more each day.

Also, it is probably time that we announce.....we are MOVING! The home is in a wonderful neighborhood and is near all the good schools of Bakersfield. It is coming with a lot of work but we got such a good deal on it that we figured we can spend a little more fixing it up and in the end we are very lucky and blessed. I do have to say the projects keep extending and the painting that was supposed to take a week has turned in to over two weeks as we decided to completely take out a wall downstairs and open the front room and kitchen. We are doing half of the labor on our own to save expenses but boy can it be frustrating. I keep hoping we make it in before Thanksgiving!

So that is what's new in the Hanna home.

Cute photos of the boys. Noah is growing up right before our eyes. When it comes to feeding he has to do everything himself, that includes taking the spoon and attempting to get the food in his mouth. It isn't as productive if I were doing it but he will eat so much more if I scoop up the food and give him the spoon to feed himself. If he is at all stubborn with his bottle he insists on holding his cup and drinking from it. All good things but boy is our little man independent and unwilling to do things any way but his. I hope this isn't indicative of what the teenage years may hold! We may have our hands full!

Cute photos of Jonah after bath time (the red marks on his forehead are from his helmet not fitting right, we have been through three adjustments in the past two weeks with this silly helmet...finally it is fitting him right and not leaving welts after he wears it for a long period of time).

The last two photos are so sweet of the boys playing together, I liked the one of Noah getting a hold of Jonah's hair! He has taken to grabbing people's hair lately. I hope the boys have a special relationship as they get older. Even now if Jonah is laughing I will look over at Noah and he is laughing too just by watching his brother smile.

Noah has an upper GI test this Friday. The GI Clinic called last week to confirm he has the delayed emptying issue and they want to do a series of tests to see if there are any strictures or other related issues. The vomiting continues, some days better then others. Today was not one of our better days. I have to say I never thought I would be worn so thin as a mother. I can put Noah down for two seconds and that is all it takes for him to get upset and throw up puddles of puke. Today alone we had three such episodes. By the end of the day I had it with being thrown up on. I sure hope this Friday we can find some answers.

I am in an honest mood tonight. The past few months have been some of the most difficult that I have ever experienced. It seems that certain emotions have been magnified, such as anger, fear, discouragement, guilt, shame, and sometimes also hope. Some days I think to myself that I can't possibly make it through yet another day. Some days I think about the ironic nature to the saying, "God doesn't give you more then you can handle," when I feel that I am hanging on by my nails from a cliff praying that I don't slip and fall. Some days I have moments of clarity and I remember that although challenging these boys have missions and will fulfill their various tasks that God has set forth for them.

I am so grateful to all those during these past few months who have stepped forward and been there for me during some very dark, dark hours. You know who you are and I will never be able to repay you. The one thing that I hope for is that once clarity really comes...when true acceptance becomes an almost daily attribute of my life that I will be able to find others who are in similar positions needing the same understanding hand to hold on to. That is my hope.

Tonight, as I have said before, I was feeling so frustrated with the state of things. I know that many of my thoughts are selfish as I think, why me? But many of my thoughts also include the difficult emotion of, why my boys? Why do they have to suffer so? I was reminded of the account of Alma the younger speaking to his son Helaman about his many years as a missionary and the blessings that came despite his tribulations:

Alma 26: 25-27

“Yea, and now behold, O my son, the Lord doth give me exceedingly great joy in the fruit of my labors;

For because of the word which he has imparted unto me, behold, many have been born of God, and have tasted as I have tasted, and have seen eye to eye as I have seen; therefore they do know of these things of which I have spoken, as I do know; and the knowledge which I have is of God.

And I have been supported under trials and troubles of every kind, yea, and in all manner of afflictions; yea, God has delivered me from prison, and from bonds, and from death; yea, and I do put my trust in him, and he will still deliver me.”

That is great courage and great appreciation for the healing power and saving grace of our Heavenly Father. I was grateful for the reminder tonight that as many prophets of old, both from the Bible and Book of Mormon, God does deliver those who remain faithful. He grants courage, he grants peace, he gives protection and a place to lay down your burdens. I will admit I have had several days where my burdens have felt so great, so heavy, that I have felt overwhelmed in knowing how to manage everything but I have been given the support in these moments, either by phone calls, someone stopping by, family members giving a kind word of encouragement or taking the boys so I can get rest or a break, all of these things have carried me onward.

Thank you each of you who have supported me. I hope to live and learn from this experience and to master my emotions so that I can in turn service others experiencing similar trials and tribulations. What a blessing in my life this would be.